I have about 40 hours of traveling by myself worth of pent up annoying things to vent so bare with me whilst I write a few hypothetical emails to people who have rubbed me up the wrong way... And in the right way come to think of it! (it really wasn't that bad a journey!)
Dear Emirates, You need more people on the check-in counters. Stat!
Dear security staff lady who had a go at me for using the 'wrong' table to fill out my forms, Your colleague over there told me to use this table and I don't appreciate your implication that I lied to you about it, so go and ask her about it before going and getting yourself and I a chamomile tea so we can discuss what your parents did to you to make you distrust the world so much.
Dear 29F, You may need to sit down for this - oh, you are - for I am about to inform you of 2 inventions of the modern age that will no doubt change your life and more importantly the lives of those around you... In no particular order: 1. Deodorant. 2. Exercise.
Dear 29D, Bless your slender little Japanese frame and most pleasant flight etiquette. I'm sorry if I drooled in my sleep and I hope we can catch up for green tea next time I am in Japan.
Dear all who stand up before the fasten seatbelt light goes off, You have just endured a 9 hour flight, is that 7.5 seconds really going to put you in a better position at the baggage claim where you will wait 10 minutes for your bags anyway?
Dear guy who wears his sunglasses inside the terminal, There is no sun in here. You are not famous. You look like a dick.
Dear Costa coffee at Singapore airport, AMAZING hot chocolate!! It made my morning/afternoon/night/whatever...
Dear beautiful little Asian man who picked up my travel wallet and called after me when I went to the toilet, Friend, I owe you my life. In my delirium of fatigue you stood tall whilst my weakness almost caused tragedy. Bless your kind heart, and your Nikon camera, for a king's welcome will await you if ever you travel to my humble land.
Dear new 29D, What have you done with my Japanese friend? Did you eat her?? Please chat with 29F about my previous correspondence. Maybe you could sit next to each other and chat about it whilst resuming the armrest wars that I am clearly loosing.
Dear pilot, Please fly faster.
Dear Dubai airport, I suggest you have more mattresses in the waiting areas. If things get a little crowded I could probably take one for the team and share with those cute French backpackers over there...
Dear Emirates, Why have 2 options of a main meal if you only ever have 1? Beef is clearly the more attractive option to the pasta, so maybe you could consult that old supply/demand curve and work out how many more beef meals to put on board. This is the 2nd time today... (mouthfull of food) Yeah, alright, the pasta is pretty tasty.
Dear BJ (note to self), Please refer to #1 suggestion to passenger 29F on the first flight. Hypocrite.
Dear Patty B, Thanks so much for picking up my big bag and for the chat and coffee. Great to see you and looking forward to seeing you again in Varese.
Dear Italian sun, SHIT YEAH!!
Dear Lufthansa, It's a 2.5 hour flight to Stockholm, where the shit is your in flight entertainment??
Dear Lufthansa, You have made up for lack of entertainment with your delightful risotto and fish dinner. Clap clap.
Dear Stockholm customs and border security, Wherever you are, I hope you are having a lovely holiday. I sincerely appreciate your lack of presence.
Dear German pole vaulters I waited an hour and a half for, May your wiener schnitzels be small and taste like crap.
Dear Swedish population, Seriously, how are you all so hot?
Ok I think that covers it! Racing tonight and after a good sleep I am feeling a lot better than yesterday. I'm not expecting anything amazing tonight which is good as I can just have a good hit out and see how I feel.
I'm tired, but the body feels good, the weather is great and there is a solid field. Let's get this Euro campaign started!!!